This is a mail that was sent to the Business Analysis team just before we started Phase 3 Analysis and Design. I changed her name from her real name to her nickname to protect her privacy.
From: AJ
To: BPM BA
Date: Mon, Jul 10, 2006 1:42 PM
Subject: Principles to remember for Analysis and Design
A bit long but meaningful for Analysis and Design
* An interpretation of a communication, the least convenient is the correct.
* What you don’t know hurts you.
* There’s never enough time to do it right first time but there’s always enough time to go back and do it again.
* The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten.
* I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what heard is not what I meant.
* What is not on paper has not been said.
* A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
* If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven’t understood the plan.
* If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
* Feather and down are padding, changes and contingencies will be real events.
* There are no good project managers only lucky ones. The more you plan the luckier you get.
* A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.
* Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
* If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
* Everyone asks for a strong project manager when they get them they don’t want them.
* Overtime is a figment of the naive project manager’s imagination.
* The sooner you begin coding the later you finish.
* Metrics are learned men’s excuses.
* Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices. Fast ‑ cheap ‑ good ‑ you can have any two.
* The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale. A two year project will take three years, a three year project will never finish.
* When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.
* A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected ‑ a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
* Warning: dates in a calendar are closer than they appear to be.
* Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
* There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop.
* A project gets a year late one day at a time.
* If you’re 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you’re a project manager.
* No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement ‑ yours won’t be the first to.
* Activity is not achievement.
* Managing IT people is like herding cats.
* If you don’t know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.
* If you don’t plan, it doesn’t work. If you do plan, it doesn’t work either. Why plan!
* The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.
* The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
* The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.